Success Myths & Mistakes

Thursday 29th Nov 2007

Success Myths and Mistakes

By Nisandeh Neta

People complain that they cannot succeed, using phrases such as "I'll never make it", "I can't", "I don't have whatever it takes..." or more commonly, "I'm not good enough". There are many great myths and mistakes most people associate with success. Learn how you can avoid these traps and turn your life into a success story. Take a look, and identify possible areas where you may be currently sabotaging your success and then simply drop these impeding ideas by choosing to replace them with better, more productive beliefs.

1. You believe you can't be successful
As a result of past conditioning, most people believe they can't be successful.
We've all experienced failure at some time in our lives. Whether it was an unsuccessful attempt to pass your driving exam, a bad mark in school exams, or a disastrous relationship, we can all relate to the feeling of trying to accomplish something and failing. A failure is simply, a result, which differs from your expectation. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course you can be successful. You are already successful in every important area of your life. You can walk, talk, read, write, take care of yourself, make contact with others, make enough money for living, etc... etc... You were not born with all these skills. You acquired them successfully throughout your life. Nobody did this on your behalf .You had to do it yourself. Today you are more skilled and prepared to deal with life.

2. Success is hard work / success is difficult
How many times have you heard that success is a hard work? A sentence you were conditioned to believe has become the truth, simply through never ending repetition. Think about it... What would you consider more as a success: a result that was achieved after a long struggle and hard work, or a result that you achieved easily and quickly? Most people's first respond is that result achieved through hard work is superior to a result that was achieved easily. The two results are exactly the same, but we value more that which was achieved through hard work... This not only defies logic, it is madness! Our expectations and our value system conditions us to believe that success is hard work and difficult. This faulty belief system ensures that we won't easily succeed thus making the vicious circle complete.

3. Success takes time
When we believe that success must take time, sure enough - it takes time. Change this concept and you'll notice, success happens in no time. Why should a success take more time than a failure? Success can take time, but it is not a pre-requisite.

4. Success is for the chosen few
"I'm insufficiently educated", "my upbringing was not supportive enough", "I'm too old / too young", "I'm a man / a woman" - all these and a ton of other external factors play major role in people's excuses as to why they cannot be successful. Success is always in present time.
It never notices where you came from or what you did previously. History gives numerous examples of the most successful people who were not born into privileged status with the proverbial silver spoon in their mouths: During the eighty-four years of his life, Thomas Edison patented 1,093 inventions! But when he was seven years old - he left school after his teacher told his mother that, as a student, Edison was dull, confused and couldn't learn. Albert Einstein's parents were worried because he was so slow to learn to speak. During his early school years, he did not excel and hated having to attend classes regularly and take the prerequisite exams.
You have at your disposal today anything you need in order to be successful in what ever you are willing to create. The only thing that will stand in your way is your convictions and concepts.
More often than not, people use their past to excuse their unwillingness to create for themselves a successful life. Don't fall into that trap! You deserve and are capable of success just like anybody else.

5. You can't always get what you want
This is another one of life's classic clich?s. You were told this lie repetitively from an early age, thus conditioned to believe that you're not worthy enough to have it all. Your parents and teachers contributed to this belief system, simply because that is what they themselves were conditioned to believe. It was often done with good intention, but the damage was nonetheless created. Kids are like a sponge. Everything they hear they accept as reality and believe in it. So after years of our parents telling us "you can't always get what you want" it is stored in our internal computers forever, limiting our experience of success. The truth is that you can always create what you are willing to have. I'm sure you have your own experiences of this phenomenon.Remember a time that you really, really wanted something, which appeared to be practically impossible. You wanted it so badly, that your whole being was focused on that outcome. And from seemingly nowhere, against all odds, suddenly it was manifested. These are the situations you hear about when people "mysteriously" recover from a terminal disease; win the lottery, or journey beyond a major obstacle in their life.

6. It's impossible to be successful in everything I do
"I'm doing great at my work, but it takes so much time and effort that my relationships and family suffer. It is just impossible to succeed in both." This is one of the most common complaints expressed on a daily basis. The truth is that the more you practice creating success in one area, the easier it becomes to create success in another area. This phenomenon is called synergy. When 1+1 equals more than 2. It is like learning a foreign language. The first one is the most difficult. The second one is easier. The third one is even easier. It's not because you know more words, it is because you learned how to learn... Another benefit when you become successful in ever increasing areas is that the skills are many times interwoven or interlinked. I became a good communicator as a result of my desire to improve my intimate relationships. And these days, communication is the main tool I utilize in my daily working with people. My old computer skills still serve me well these days, as I can supervise most of the technical work concerning our business' websites and desktop publishing.

7. Success is something out there
Believing that success is something separate from who you are, will always make it harder to achieve. We tend to believe that in order to be successful we first must achieve a certain status or level, such as "When I'll become the CEO, I'll be successful." In reality, you'll never be successful whilst you rely on doing or having any external something. The truth is that the reality of success works the other way around. First you have to BE, and from there DO and/or HAVE. For example, "when I'm happy, my communication is better and it is easier for me to create a better relationship." Or "when I'm successful, I'm more relaxed and I have more time for myself".

8. Success means doing it perfect
This myth is my absolute all-time favourite. Believing that things can be done in a perfect manner is a ridiculous concept, yet so many people fall into this psychological trap. There is nothing created by man which is perfect and there never will be. What is so important that it needs to be done perfectly? Perfectionism = Inactivity. Observe nature. Everything in nature is perfect, and yet it is in a state of perpetual change. Nothing remains constant. The ocean is at all times in movement and yet always perfect. So are you. You are the perfect you. Nobody can be YOU as perfectly as you can. So abandon the illusion and choose, instead, the creation process. And by the way, any imperfect manifestation is infinitely more successful than a perfect idea or concept.

9. Someone else is doing it better (or can do it better)
There always will be someone else doing something. So what?
In what way, does this simple reality affect your individual process of becoming successful in whatever you'd like to create? Comparing yourself to and with others will without doubt, always invalidate your creativity. You are different than everybody else. You are unique! No one can be YOU better than you, and you are your own contribution to the world. If we were all the same, there wouldn't be any necessity for creativity in the world. You don't have to be the first in order to be successful. The real ingredients of success are to care about what you're doing. Be passionate and enthusiastic about it, and committed to making the world notice it.

10. Success has to happen on the first attempt
What nonsense! Very little deemed later as successful, happened the first time round. Edison experimented with thousands of coils until he finally got it right and the first light bulb was created. All children, great inventors and creators have high tolerance to mistakes and 'failures'. It's only when we grow up that we lose this tolerance, and with it, our willingness to create success.
If we would have to learn to walk as grown ups, all of us would probably keep on crawling... Creating success is about tossing everything you've got into whatever it is you wish to achieve.
And... if the result is not what you've expected, creating success is about trying it all over again with the necessary corrections, until you get it where you want it to be.

11. I failed before, I'll fail again
Somebody once said to me, "success is just a series of failures." Being intelligent is nice, but not enough. Your intelligence is just your potential. Experience is what actualizes this intelligence and transforms it into wisdom. Your past failures are all part of your life experience. You become richer with experience every day that you live. And this experience can never be lost. Your past failures are your lessons of future success. Cherish them, learn from them and they will never happen again. Fail to do so, and you'll probably create these same errors continually until you learn the lesson that needs to be learned. One more thing to remember when fear stops you from really committing to your success.

Life is too short to be wasted with excuses. Success is your birthright.

As the Nike phrase says:

Just do it!